Tapeworthy

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Following Takes Place Between 2:00 and 3:00PM

Last week on 24 the only lead to the location of the terrorists is shot and killed by his young love slave! The phone rings with Erwich on the other end! Wha'cha gonna do, Jack? Wha'cha gonna do when they come for you....

Well, he's the immortal Jack Bauer! So he is going to pick up the phone - all the while with CTU tapped into the call because apparently Chloe (who looks like a recurring character on MADtv that I can't place so if any of you know who I'm talking about please post because it's driving me crazy!) has the hacking skills of Big Brother - and he's going to answer with an indistinguishable grunt. Actually, I'm surprised he didn't look at Curtis and shrug his shoulder. A meeting is set up to make the exchange but Erwich, who ironically sounds quite Irish for a Russian, is sending one of his crew instead of showing up himself. Conveniently, this means Jack can go to the drop-off posed as Rossler (the dead guy)! I hope I'm making this seem as exciting as it was to watch, because this is edge-of-your-seat-action folks! Edge. Of. Your. Seat.

At the exchange Jack/Rossler is forced at gunpoint to go with the Irissians to test the nerve gas at a local shopping mall. What is Jack going to do now? If he stops them, it blows his cover and he may never find Erwich and the rest of the nerve gas. But if he lets them go through with the test, hundreds of innocents will die! My God! I'm glad I'm not Jack Bauer!! The life and death decisions he must make on the fly literally every 5 minutes!! Watching everything on CTU's 70" plasma because BigBro's hacked her way into the mall's video surveillance (whaaaa?!), Lynn, the hobbit, still emasculated from the trouncing he got from his coked up sister's companion and a life-time of teasing about his girl's name, overcomensates by manly ordering Jack to let them test the nerve gas if it means the possibility of getting to the other 19 canisters. Bill disagrees and when Hobbit insists Bill goes over his head to force President Wienie to decide.

Of course he can't and goes as far as to say, "uhhhhm, why don't youuuu decide...," but they explain only the President has the power to issue that warrant of death. So even though Jack only has 5 nanoseconds left to take action, and he puts CTU on hold(!) while he asks Novick to make the decision for him. Pres. Wienie orders Jack to let the terrorists release the canister. Audrey looks up, hands in the air and screams, "Noooooooo!" Well not really, but close enough. She pretends she's upset for all the innocent children that will die in the Mall, but we know it's really because of her LUFF for Jack. Bill gives Jack the code to unlock the canister as the terrorists are asking for it, but Jack Bauer has morals! He gives them the wrong code and they reward him by coldcocking him to the ground and handcuffing him to the leg of a table that does not appear to be bolted to the floor. But it was all for naught because the Irissians have figured out another way to activate the canisters.

Cut to the chase, some of the gas is released into the ventilation system before Jack gets free, kills one of the terrorists and lets the other one get away while shutting down the canister. Finally, CTU calls in Curtis who always just seems to be sitting around waiting to be called in. Hobbit gets a talkin' to by Pres. Wienie - Don't ever put me in a position where I have to make a decision ever again, especially if no one is going to listen to me anyway! Meanwhile, Jack is running around in a gas mask creating mass terror, but still able to save a little girl from dying and even spares the 30 seconds it takes for her to opens her eyes. It doesn't sound like much but when you're acting in real time, that feels like forever!

Alas, they lost the 2nd terrorist! Or have they? BigBro to the rescue! Still wearing the tracking device, he leads the CTU back to the garage but no one is there. Erwich is no fool. As he watches CTU cover the garage, he orders his underling to take one for the team. Before Jack can stop him...BANG! The second suicide in less than 2 hours. Is all lost? Even Jack Bauer is starting to feel a little desperate: "Erwich's gone. The canisters are gone. We've got nothing here. Dammit!"

Oh yeah, and there was also some stuff about Pres. Wienie and the First Crazy. The First Crazy learns a hard lesson about how lies and cover-ups are a good thing. By the way, has anyone else noticed that now she's viewed as "sane" she's not as interesting any more?? Also, isn't there something fishy about her assistant Evelyn? And who else thinks that Novick totally rubbed out Cummings whist yelling, "That's for getting me arrested, Bitch!"

Originally Posted by Highbrow

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