American Idol - I'm Too Old For This Sh!t

American Idol - Top 8 - Performance Night - Theme: Songs from the Year They Were Born

Before we get to the top 8. Megan Joy Caw Caw Corkrey was booted out last week. I've already practically forgotten about her.

I'm also LOVING the Idolatry videos on Entertainment Weekly by Michael Slezak and company. Basically because they basically say the exact same thing I wrote from the previous week. It's almost if I had made the videos. (Wait, did I?) You'd think I'd get a small cut or payment or something.

So, this week the singers must sing a song from the year they were born. And since the OLDEST contestant was born in the 80's, that now means mostly 80's music, and that everyone on the show is younger than me. Man I feel old. Allison was born in 1992. I'll be right back. I'm going to get my Metamucil now.

So since 7 of the 8 contestants were born in the 80's. That means a lot of 80's music. That's a joke right?


Danny Gokey
28 years old - Born 1980
Home: Milwaukee, WI
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "Stand By Me" (by Ben E. King, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, made famous by Ben E. King)

Grade: B+

I actually liked the arrangement (unlike Randy) but while I think he does have a great sound, he's been off recently and if you listen closely, he's STILL NOT ON KEY all the time. But at this point, he's brainwashed the judges and half of America enough to convince people that he's the best singer in the competition (including EW columnist Adam B. Vary, whose kinda cute in a nerdy way). I still can't stand him but I'm not reacting so violently ill when I see him right now. At this point, I just sort of want to push him over but that's it.


Kris Allen
23 years old - Born 1985 (June 21st, just to note)
Home: Conway, AR
Audition: Louisville, KY
Song: "All She Wants to Do Is Dance" (by Danny Kortchmar, made famous by Don Henley)

Grade: B-

Probably the worst performance Kris Allen has done but mainly because I HATE THAT SONG. He does a nice job of trying to make it his own but I'm not sure it all succeeded in erasing the lameness of Don Henley.

Whatever. He sure is pretty!


Lil Rounds
23 years old - Born 1984
Home: Memphis, TN
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "What's Love Got To Do With It" (by Terry Britten, Graham Lyle, made famous by Tina Turner)

Grade: C

Seriously, girl has some grand delusions. She keeps trying to sing big diva songs but her voice just ain't up to the task. Last week she does a hackneyed version of Celine, now Lil tries to take on Tina Turner. Is it something to compensate for the name?

The judges keep saying she's a "brilliant vocalist" but yet, she hasn't really shown that at all since we've gone live. Lil needs to take on something modern and completely UNDIVAish. I think that would make the statement she needs. Simon and Paula apparently both note that she needs to be original (with Simon making a bit more sense) and I completely agree.


Anoop Desai
21 years old - Born 1986
Home: Chapel Hill, NC
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "True Colors" - (by Tom Kelly, Billy Steinberg, made famous by Cyndi Lauper)

Grade: B

He finally picks the right song and sings it the exact way he should, but this is where the strains and weaknesses show through (like a rainbow... er... wait). It was pretty good but if I had to get nitpicky, his voice failed him when I listen closely but much better than weeks past. Still not the best voice of the competition (Kris could sing circles around him and I'll even say Danny generally has a better voice) but it's been actually one of the better performances from the night that should save him for another week.


Scott MacIntyre
23 years old - Born 1985
Home: Scottsdale, AZ
Audition: Phoenix, AZ
Song: "The Search is Over" - (by Survivor)

Grade: C-

No piano. Still no talent. Okay, that was harsh. Actually, it wasn't as bad as it normally has been. I didn't have to rush to plug my ears though I wouldn't decide to listen to it again. The judges were harsh on their comments this week even though I think he's been far worse. I still wan't him out right away, don't get me wrong, but I've felt a bigger urge to rip out my guts on some of his previous performances. Though what was the point of the guitar? Did he even strum that thing more than twice?


Allison Iraheta
16 years old - Born 1992. NINETY TWO??? I have T-shirts I still wear that are older than she is (which yes, I know is kinda gross)
Home: Los Angeles, CA
Audition: San Francisco, CA
Song: "I Can't Make You Love Me" (by Mike Reid, Allen Shamblin, made famous by Bonnie Raitt)

Grade: B+

First off, I LOVE this song. LOVE LOVE LOVE. And I think I've grown to love the song more and more as times gone by. Okay, now that that's out of the way, I thought Allison did a fine job with Raitt's song, though I don't think she killed it as much as I would have hoped. Still, it was pretty safe but pretty great and a great song choice.


Matt Giraud
23 years old - Born 1985
Home: Kalamazoo, MI
Audition: Louisville, KY
Song: "Part Time Lover" (by Stevie Wonder)

Grade: B

Damnit, another Stevie Wonder song. ARGH. Why did I NOT go with the obvious choice for the pool. Yet another point to the competition. ARGH. Seriously, this conspiracy to sing old songs with "birth year songs" is just a reason to do the 80's without saying 80's songs. Cause that would just sound lamer. Meanwhile, the judges and the audience seemed to love Matt's performance but maybe I was just annoyed at falling behind in the pool, because I wasn't totally buying it. It did end off decently but I thought it had a shaky start and again, I don't think he's on key as much as the judges think he is.


Adam Lambert
26 years old - Born 1982
Home: Los Angeles, CA
Audition: San Francisco, CA
Song: "Mad World" (by Roland Orzabal, made famous by Tears for Fears)

Grade: B

Well, he sure does interesting song choices and a good one this week (as opposed to last week's ridiculous Funky Music). He definitely has the showy performance impact down pat though I still don't think his vocals are as strong as his fans think he is. As the current front runner, I think he's only there because he makes bold choices (for good or bad) but as an artist, I don't think I would want to hear his album. Simon loved it and gives him a standing O. No time for the others. What? Randy doesn't get to talk his drivel?


The Final Round Up:

Best of the Night: Allison Irahetta, and note, it was the only song that wasn't from the 80's. A sign?
Second Best of the Night: Danny Gokey
Third Best of the Night: Anoop Desai
Fourth Best of the Night: Adam Lambert

GASP. Kris Allen isn't in the top 4 slot. My love. My reason for Season 8. Well, everyone's had an off night once or twice. Scott's had about 7. I know the judges are REALLY pushing Adam to win (now that Lil has totally flopped out and Danny seems less interesting) but PLEASE don't let us lose sex on legs Kris Allen. I mean, the song wasn't his best but his voice still IS. PLEASE...

Worst of the Night: Scott MacIntyre
Second Worst of the Night: Lil Rounds

Bottom Three Predictions: Allison Irahetta, Scott MacIntyre, Lil Rounds

Going Home: It HAS to be the time for Scott to go, right? RIGHT? Though my gut still says Lil Rounds even though I was totally wrong last week.

For more on American Idol:
Click here for the most recent posts.
Season 8:
Top 2 Performance
Top 3 Performance, Top 3 Results
Top 4 Performance, Top 4 Results
Top 5 Performance, Top 5 Results
Top 6 + Matt (Top 7 Redux) Performance, Top 7 Redux Results
Top 7 Performance, Top 7 Results
Top 8 Performance, Top 8 Results
Top 9 Performance
Top 10 Performance
Top 12 Performance, Top 12 Results
Top 13 Performance, Top 13 Results
Top 36:
Group 1, Group 2, Group 3
Wild Card, Wild Card Results
Pre-Top 36:
Who Are You Going To Vote For?
Handicapping the Alleged American Idols
Vance at http://tapeworthy.blogspot.com