American Idol - Rebel Yell

American Idol - Top 4 - Results Night - The Cut From 4 to the Top 3

I love that I can watch the results show on Fast Forward and finish it in about 20 minutes.

Is it sad that I got super excited when I saw Blake in the return-home-Montage? Oh Blake, your album deserved so much better. Also, where's Melinda Doolittle these days? She's so awesome.

Okay, so I apologize for my derogatory comments yesterday to cougars and old beer gutted bears. I was just mad at the judges and that was uncalled for. Because I love me some cougars and old beer gutted bears. Mainly cause I plan to become an old cougar some day, and because I'm fighting for gay marriage rights so that I can get fat once I get married... (er... fatter).

Still, it was fun reading and hearing the gamut of reactions to last night's utter disaster episode (IMHO). I was going to compile things but LowRes beat me to it and did a better job. Though I will also add DameJames and RJ's posts because they're even cuter than me in their bitchiness.

I REALLY should have been directing my anger towards Kara, Randy and Simon. Paula gets a reprieve because she's such a fabulous mess in her performance that you just gotta love her. I mean, to lip sync on a singing talent show you're judging is one thing, but then to have hot boy dancers surround you and mask the awkward moments of you reliving your youth was just hilarious! (That being said, as soon as they announced it during the performance night, I had her song "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" in my head all day at work. Impressive since I think I've heard the full song only once at a gay dance club, about the only place where it could possibly work and be appreciated on some ironic diva level.

I also realize while I hate the screeching, I have nothing against Adam Lambert himself, I just would probably be nicer to him if the judges weren't publicly having orgasms while watching his performances while totally burning Allison or Kris' performances.

But who cares, cause the results are in! Right? RIGHT? (And by right I mean, Danny Gokey is going home right?)

And Kris is the first one named safe! Hallelujah, even the judges horrible comments to his actually decent rendition of "Come Together" couldn't stop the affable and humble guy who truly looks like he's having a good time. He's done EVERYTHING right, including seeming totally genuine, so the fact that he can sing, has his own unique understated style, seems modern and contemporary and actually makes songs his own, is icing on the cake!

YAY! KRIS IS IN THE FINAL THREE!!!

Adam's next and he's safe. Surprise surprise. Moving on... I just need to hear Allison is safe...

but Danny's up next... and ... he's safe...

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OH HELL NO.

WTF AMERICA?

DANNY'S SAFE? Which means Allison-I-should-be-in-the-Top-2-Iraheta is going home?

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OH HELL NO.

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Okay. Look America. You got the Kris thing right. I understand your love for screaming Adam, so I'll give you that one. ONE. Not two? Not Ol'Yeller? Seriously? Did you HEAR THAT LAST NOTE LAST NIGHT? The note heard around the world?

WTF?

It's time to put the GO in Gokey. WTF? (Seriously, how awesome is Idolatry this year?)

Allison? Again. Look at Daughtry. You're gonna be okay. Look even at Costantine Maroulis? He's been nominated for a Tony Award! A fricken TONY AWARD! J. Hud has an OSCAR! You're gonna be okay.

Still.

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OH HELL NO. Danny Gokey? Just GO.

On the good news side. I still have 2 of my 3 picks in the pool (also brilliantly written by LowRes Joe), and no one picked Kris (NO ONE!??!) So my only competition now are fellow people that picked both Danny and Adam, and at this point, apparently I'm in third (or was last time points were tallied), which isn't bad considering one of my real-singer choices has been a total waste (why is no one singing John Mayer? I totally thought SOMEONE (Kris? Ricky Braddy? Brent Keith? Matt? Anoop? One of the girls to make it even cooler?) was going to sing him in this years attempt to be more contemporary. Why do I even bother thinking they're going to move away from Stevie Wonder and Whitney Houston?)

So here... (do the Ryan pause for dramatic effect)... is your Top 3, America:

If only. Crap. I'm still deluding myself. It'll hit me in the morning won't it?

For more on American Idol:
Click here for the most recent posts.
Season 8:
Top 2 Performance
Top 3 Performance, Top 3 Results
Top 4 Performance, Top 4 Results
Top 5 Performance, Top 5 Results
Top 6 + Matt (Top 7 Redux) Performance, Top 7 Redux Results
Top 7 Performance, Top 7 Results
Top 8 Performance, Top 8 Results
Top 9 Performance
Top 10 Performance
Top 12 Performance, Top 12 Results
Top 13 Performance, Top 13 Results
Top 36:
Group 1, Group 2, Group 3
Wild Card, Wild Card Results
Pre-Top 36:
Who Are You Going To Vote For?
Handicapping the Alleged American Idols
Vance at http://tapeworthy.blogspot.com