I'm recovering from a busy weekend and eschewed any Oscar parties this year so that I could be bitchy on my couch tonight, so here's some random incoherent thoughts (though I'm taking a break for The Amazing Race which thankfully, CTV is showing at 7pm tonight before their telecast of the Oscars) on the red carpet that I'll continuously update:
UPDATE: Okay, I'm live blogging the whole Oscars it seems. See below:
Red carpet microphone holders Ben Lyons (for E! and son of critic Jeffrey Lyons) and Ben Mulroney (for CTV's eTalk and son of former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney) are kind of twats aren't they? Though Ben Mulroney is slightly less heinous than Lyons. Though I will admit Lyons is way cuter. On the other hand, that's all he's really got. The beauty, but not the brains.
Those kids from Slumdog Millionaire are adorably hilarious. Love that the kid didn't actually love the flight over from India. Angelina is probably readying her adoption lawyers already!
I can't tell if I hate Dustin Lance Black for being only 29 and being nominated for Best Original Screenplay for Milk or if I hate him because he's so cute and gay and cute (did I say that already?)?
Can Ryan Seacrest be more self-serving and plugging that little show that he's on called American Idol in what seems like every interview?
Okay, Ryan Seacrest is now forgiven for asking Ron Howard about Arrested Development movie news. (And the news sounded good!)
Oh god, LOVE Taraji P. Henson! She won't win for this year (and shouldn't) but eventually she will! (She SHOULD have been nominated for Hustle and Flow and Talk To Me.
8:11: I'm surprised they haven't shoved Entertainment Weekly's Jess Cagle onto TV more often. Dude's kinda hot. And WAY better than the Bens and Ryan.
8:12: Shouldn't Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens be getting ready for the musical number? Or is this tape delayed? Not loving Zach's hair though but I'm guessing he just ran out after showering from rehearsals so I'll forgive him.
8:13: As much as I love Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona, I would be elated if Viola Davis won instead. Though Marissa gave a tremendous performance and deserves it too.
8:14: Oh Miley, I highly doubt you'll be there next year getting an award for her next movie role. Ah the young and naive.
8:20: Oh that's sweet. Tim Gunn is trying to sound serious as he riffs off what the accountants are wearing (which just looks like every other penguin suit).
8:23: Jack Black + Jess Cagle. Hilarious in the faux-pas!
8:25: Michael Giacchino is musical director for tonight's Oscar? Awesome! Now when are they finally going to give one of those guys to him? Seriously. All his Pixar scores are incredible (like The Incredibles which he should have won for) and his TV stuff (Alias, Lost) are such part of the shows.
8:28: Oh, that's it! Time for the show! Time for Hugh!
8:39: Hugh Jackman is THE BEST! That "Reader" bit was hysterical. Finally someone worthy of taking over Billy Crystal's mantel.
8:42: There's going to be a lot of Standing O's tonight isn't there?
8:46: Whoopi is so underrated. So funny with just that one nun line and look.
8:47: I'm not sure how they're going to keep things at 3 hours with this overlong intros but I do like having the 5 previous winners there. Classy. Just could be quicker. Yay Penelope!
8:50: Okay, first commercial break. Nomination readings could be quicker but so far loving the glittery set (shiiiinnnny!) and LOVE LOVE LOVE Hugh Jackman as host. He deserves an Oscar nomination for Wolverine already just so we guarantee his return next year! Did I not tell you Hugh was going to be great? Even his post-musical number jokes were funny. Funnier than a few recent "comedian" hosts.
8:53: Steve Matin, Tina Fey and Steve Martin. LOL!
8:56: I officially hate Dustin Lance Black and need to marry him.
Yay for DLB though I would have preferred Wall*E. When are the Pixar folks going to get some love (outside the Best Animated Category)
Damn, even his speech is moving. Damn you DLB for looking so hot in that tux and that swoop hair.
UPDATE: And yes Esther, I'm jealous crazy in love.
9:01: Was that Brad Rowe in the background bringing the Oscar to the podium? Isn't that weird, since he's kind of a ringer for Brad Pitt? Or does that partially count into the contractual obligations of showing Brad and Angelina all through the night? And so the Slumdog sweep begins (with Simon Beaufoy winning!)
9:05: How is that Space Monkeys movie actually getting airtime at the Oscars? That's just wrong. Fair, but wrong.
9:07: Woo! Wall*E! That circle in the round railing that guards the stars from the "other folks" seems a little hierarchical though. Poor Stanton who is out of the circle.
9:10: Pretty good night so far. Even the unknown Japanese guy winning for Best Animated Short was funny!
9:18: They didn't spare anything with the look of the show this year! Love the "set" for the Sets Oscar. Though I'm a sucker for words in lights.
9:22: Whoa, Daniel Craig made a funny!
9:32: Mocking Joaquin Pheonix? Really? Not that it doesn't deserve it but on the Oscars? Will the rest of the world even get it? (Can you tell I'm not a Ben Stiller fan?)
9:42: What a brilliant way to mock The Love Guru!
And to give props to Milk! Oh James Franco! Love!
9:47: You know it's a good night when even the DP (Janusz Kaminski) is funny! Take that former comedian hosts who weren't that funny!
9:52: OOH. The Musical segment!???
OH it IS Spencer Liff! (next to Hugh) (Broadway's Equus, Cry Baby)
God, they do love Beyonce at the Oscars don't they?
I don't think I ever pictured Beyonce and Hugh together but it's kinda giving me chills.
Oh yay finally High School Musical! Zac! Vanessa! They aren't even that bad live. Though Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper sort of get lost in the whole number don't they? Still, I would have thought they would have used the youngun's more, but kudos for attempting a huge musical number! Still, it mostly worked cause of Hugh and Beyonce. And really Hugh!
10:03: Oh Cuba, What have you done lately? A reminder to all Oscar winners. It's still no guarantee...
10:07: Oh right, here comes the Standing O for Heath Ledger. May he RIP.
And as expected, he wins.
Standing O.
Bravo
My eyes are actually slightly watery.
10:11: Nothing profound but I kind of like the intro interviews with the Documentary directors. Very docu-like. I really need to see Man on Wire and Trouble The Water.
10:17: Circus tricks with Oscar! From the Man on Wire!
10:19: Re: Angels and Demons commercial on CTV: The first movie sucked but EWAN MCGREGOR? I HAVE to see THIS.
10:26: I guess Will Smith was one of those celebrities they were "hiding" from the red carpet. Though doesn't he show up every year?
10:27: I don't know why I'm surprised they gave Visual Effects to Benjamin Buttons and not TDK but I am.
10:35: Dev Patel and Freida Pinto pumping their fists at Slumdog's editing win! So cute!
10:37: Commercial break. The show is really moving along swiftly. Other than the first multiple actress intro during Best Supporting Actress, it hasn't seemed that slow this year. Even the technical awards and shorts weren't boring. So far so good! (Granted we still have the memorials, governor's award and accountants to come).
10:48: Now that the tribute to Jerry Lee Lewis is over (sorry, I never got him), the movie trailer for The Proposal actually looks cute. I mean, Sandra Bullock and a naked Ryan Reynolds. How can you go wrong?
10:50: Oh, the scores! Score! (Did anyone else watch Revolutionary Road and notice the score? I mean, it was SOOOO NOTICEABLE. Kind of intrusive actually. It definitely helped take points off the movie for me.). Wish Wall*E could win but I actually loved Slumdog Millionaire's score here and it's a definite lock.
10:54: Yup. I was right. Still don't love Zac Efron's slicked back hair. I want to mess it up a bit. Man, Alicia Keys is so beautiful. I wish I loved her music more than I do.
10:56: It's too bad M.I.A. couldn't be here to co-perform her best Best Song nominee for Slumdog. John Legend sounds great. Love the literal drop of the red material backdrop that was brought down at the start. Nice simple theatrical move. I'm kinda digging the live mix of the two movie songs.
11:00: Wow. "Jai Ho" won. I'm actually surprised. I don't know why, since it was pretty much written.
Also, I LOVED LOVED LOVED the movie The Wrestler. But The Boss' song was not THAT good.
11:07: Whoa, in the first truly shocking win, Departures from Japan won Best Foreign Language film. Beating Waltz with Bashir (which I thought was overrated though the animation was spectac) and The Class (the other major competition that people thought might have a chance of beating Waltz). I guess people just did NOT like Waltz
11:15: I know I should be respecting the tribute but I think I was just mesmerized by all the gigantic screens floating on stage. I'm all about the asymmetrical images on a canvas.
11:18: No speech from the pres! Woohoo! More smiles from Hugh! Woohoo!
11:25: Danny Boyle! And I guess Best Actress is next, considering all the previous winner clips. Whoa, what a group of actresses! Sophia Lauren! Shirley MacLaine, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry. Sumptuous!
11:32: Oh finally, Kate has an Oscar! Hoorah! Anne looked positively excited for Kate! Love Anne. Any other year and Anne would have won. Damn Kate and Meryl! She will! But FINALLY Kate won. I know it was pretty much predicted since her nom. but now it's done!
11:37: Boys turn! nice Lineup! Anthony Hopkins, Robert DeNiro, Michael Douglas, Ben Kingsley and Adrian Brody! Another Standing O!
Though where's last years winner? Or does Daniel Day do these things? (Hmm... we've seen a LOT of his Nine costars present. Weren't like 3 in the Best Actress presentation?)
11:40: Why is Richard Jenkins sitting in the 3rd row behind people I don't even know (seat fillers?). Even when he's nominated, he gets no respect. Too bad he won't win. So is it Rourke or Penn? My money went from Penn to Rourke over the last 2 days. My personal pick did the same.
11:42: Ghandi is presenting the "Wrestler"? Rourke is shaking.
11:43: Sean Penn wins! Oh, I was wrong. Still happy though! And Sean Penn is funny! Seriously, I know the producing team didn't produce that but compared to some previous years, this has been a generally entertaining Oscars. Even with a very predictable list of winners.
11:49: It's a very strange Best Picture intro with old movies mixed in with the current noms.
11:52: ... and the Oscar goes to... Slumdog Millionaire! Okay, not really a surprise now but again, considering 6 months ago it wasn't even on the radar, it's pretty huge!
11:55: And at 3 hours and 25 min. This might be one of the shorter awards and only clocked in 25 min. late (on an already shorter 3 hour planned time. Usually it's 3.5 hours anyways isn't it?) Nice way to shill the future movies! Might as well while you have the audience!
Can't wait for Julie & Julia, 500 Days of Summer, Fame and Up! I think The Soloist may actually hurt Robert Downey Jr.'s credibility with me. Oooh, a clip of Amelia! See you all next year!
Okay, so that was probably one of the breeziest Oscars in a LONG time. And that's considering almost every winner was predictable. I'm totally pronouncing Hugh Jackman as the new Billy Crystal and the show was generally well produced and a classy but amusing affair! WHEW!
Here's the full list of winners.
Vance at http://tapeworthy.blogspot.com
More After the Jump...
Law & Order: UK? And with Harriet Walter (Atonement), Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica and my future husband) and Ben Daniels (the recent revival of Les Liasons Dangereuse on Broadway)? How did I not hear about this? (Or I actually think I did and then didn't think it was actually happening). 
Here's some more nice shots of Jamie Bamber. And here's another shirtless pic, this time for Peta: 
Vance at http://tapeworthy.blogspot.com
