We Will Rock You - And Sock You, And Pound You, And Hammer It Into Your Head - The Bad Anonymous Sex of Musical Theatre - A Review

We Will Rock You - Canon Theatre, Toronto, ON

HOLY CRAPTACULAR BATMAN!

So I had to go see for myself what We Will Rock You, the new musical that opened in Toronto, and had played London for four years (which means nothing really knowing that Starlight Express (the worst musical I have EVER seen) played for over 15 years), based on the music from Queen, written and directed by Ben Elton (of Blackadder and The Thin Blue Line fame), would turn out to be. I TRIED to stay positive...

Well, now I can say I've seen the Worst Musical I Have Ever seen where I still walked out smiling. Most likely because I was laughing AT it, but whatever, I was still smiling. And to explain the title of the post, much like bad anonymous sex (or so I hear), you know, well, it's still sex, but it was bad and you sort of feel guilty afterwards. That's how I felt coming out of We Will Rock You the musical. Giddy but dirty.

The story takes place 300 years in the future when Rock music has been banned by a corporation who controls all media (Radio Ga Ga). The hero Galileo Figaro hears music in his head and must fight the powers and search for the holy grail of music, the guitar from Queen that is buried in Wembley Stadium and is aided by his new girlfriend Scaramouche. No I am not making this up. And this is the PLAUSIBLE part of the story. The rest I just couldn't even comprehend so I won't even bother.

I've never been a huge Queen fan (most likely because I grew up when Wayne's World was all the rage and every guy who thought he was cool had to re-enact the "Bohemian Rhapsody" scene) but I have to admit, they did have a pretty fun repertoire of songs, some that I had forgotten that was theirs. So the music was great. That alone does not make a musical.

With the ridiculous plot, slim outlines of characters, infantile jokes including one about fisting (yah, seriously, and it's not a typo) and waxing the beaver, costumes left behind from Goodwill that even the poor wouldn't take, and the GAYEST choreographed dances in the world (and yes, I'm using GAY in the derogatory Isaiah Washington sense), all to the tunes of Queen, makes for one strange, tedious, and yet ultimately hilarious performance since I seriously was SO EMBARRASSED for the actors that I could NOT look them in the eye (which is hard when I'm sitting in the 2nd row lottery rush tickets).

Still, We Will Rock You was good enough in its badness to DEFINE "It's So Bad It's Good".

I can't believe its SOOO POPULAR and the audience LOVED IT and had a HUGE standing O... and I think they took it SERIOUSLY and not in the mocking way I did (were Toronto audiences just being nice? I actually think they truly loved it for real, but then again, they loved Wicked too and I thought it was banal and poorly executed). It's sort of the musical for the middle-aged white trash suburbanite who are trying to be cultured.

Seriously. it was the POLAR OPPOSITE of Spring Awakening. If SA is everything that is amazing and hopeful about the future of musical theatre, We Will Rock You is everything that is wrong with the future of musical theatre.

I will give though that most of the leads had quite amazing voices, particularly Alana Bridgewater as villain The Killer Queen (haha, get it?) and Erica Peck as Scaramouche. As for the lead Galileo, Yvan Pedneault had an AMAZING singing voice, but he is Quebecois and this, I think is his first English show, so he still had an 'EVY 'EVY French Canadian accent so you didn't understand a word he was saying (and I went to school in Quebec so I'm kinda used to it already), not that it really mattered to follow the incomprehensible plot between songs anyways (and since the songs themselves BARELY fit into the plot anyways, why try?).

It's kinda funny though, because of all the negative reader reviews I read about Spring Awakening (hates the no plot, little character development, great songs and great energetic cast, hates the mood) is probably the exact same thing I will say about We Will Rock You. Yet Spring Awakening made me feel something, whereas the irony in WWRY is that it's about the fighting the "man" and against corporate music but this musical felt more corporate than anything I've seen recently. Plus, if rock music has been banned for 300 years, why do they all know how to sing rock?

More After the Jump...

Brothers & Sisters - Keeping Up With The Joneses

Game Night

Jenna Elfman, (her Dharma and Greg co-star) Susan Sullivan, Perry White, Eric Winter (who is also in the pilot for Viva Laughlin, which is in addition to pilot cast members Lloyd Owen, Hugh Jackman, Patrick Fabian, DB Woodside, Madchen Amick. Man, CBS better not screw this up. They will). In addition to recent cast add-ons Amy Abbott...er I mean Emily Vancamp and Rob Lowe? Can we pack on more fun to this show?

Okay. Kitty meets Jack's gay brother Jason and automatically tries to set him up with Kevin, which is hilarious enough, until the actual date, which is a disaster, and Kevin is ditched with the fake "emergency call".

Kitty also meets Rebecca accidentally when Rebecca calls a meeting with all the brothers and sisters that she knows.

Kitty and Nora (was there a storyline Kitty wasn't involved in this episode?) bump into the Joneses who are basically their mirror rival? They revive their old game nights between families, Jack McCalister is invited, a stepford Kitty joins the party, and the bad date between the gay brothers slowly spill out.

Okay. Game night could have been lame but that was worth it just for Kevin's impression of Jurassic Park. Rebecca feels lost amongst the Walkers, and bonds with Joe, another outsider. The Walkers end up losing game night to the Joneses. Kitty and Nora try to steal the trophy back by bribing the kids, and Rebecca takes guitar lessons from Joe and then tells Justin that Joe kissed her. WHA??? Is she lying or did they just cut away from that moment right before it happened? WHA??? I had to rewind and nothing was ever shown. So it's her word against his. WHA???

More After the Jump...

The Amazing Race - Star Fairies

We Are Trying to Make Love, Not War

Spoiler Alert: Highlight below for spoilers.

I seriously hope the spoilers I found were wrong, because I so want Team Cha Cha Cha's Danny and Oswald to win this thing. Love that we get to return to Hong Kong where on their last trip, they STOPPED mid-race to go shop because they just HAD to and STILL wound up first at the airport. Loved that!

This time, teams had to get themselves from Kuala Lumpur to Hong Kong, my home away from home (sigh... god I love/hate that place, or, hate getting to that place). Fight some kung-fu fighters or crash a car, take the Star Ferry, and eventually DRIVE in Hong Kong. Okay. That my friend, is MUCH harder than one would imagine so I did actually feel for them and could totally understand by the Eric the ass could wind up going back to Kowloon in the tunnel. It is NOT easy to get around that place.

Meanwhile, what kinda idiot would take Charla and Mirna to the HONG KONG Star Ferry Terminal. Yes they are annoying now and deserve that bit of karmic kickback, but still, if you are already in Kowloon, why the hell would he take them to the Hong Kong side? Scammers. Just wanted the larger fare. I always knew they were scammers. I keep telling people that but NOOOOO, people don't believe me! (okay, most of HK is actually quite honest. CHINA, now there's a place I don't trust, and I can say most pet owners in North America probably don't either right now).

Anyways, Danielle and Eric end up last at the Hong Kong Jockey Club (hey, that's right where my Amazing Race addicted friend lives! My god, when she finds out, she's going to scream that she missed them!) but it was a non-elimination round. Argh...

More After the Jump...

One More Jonathan Groff To Live - Backstage at Spring Awakening

Here's the extras clip from Jonathan Groff's backstage tour of Spring Awakening, in addition to the main tour video clip. Man, he's adorable and totally NOT like Melchior though, which makes me love him even MORE and totally thinks that he deserves a Tony nomination (which he might not because I think his youth will detract voters). Here's the video clip from New York Magazine's backstage tour of Spring Awakening.


Apparently Jonathan Groff started on One Life To Live in a 5 minute cameo this past Wednesday (the 11th) as Henry already but his re-occuring role will expand further from the 18th and on. Groff will play the shy kid who will not be so shy... Da Da DUM...

(Photo above from Broadwayworld.com)

More After the Jump...

One Jonathan Groff To Live

I would never usually recommend watching daytime soaps (the last time I watched, Anne Heche was playing twins (one evil of course)) but starting next week, at Wednesdays, April 18th at 2pm on ABC, on One Life To Live, Jonathan Groff starts his stint on the sudser. Woot Woot! Never have I been so excited to watch a daytime soap opera.

And if by now you don't know (big sigh of annoyance with the whole slumping shoulders and eyes looking up), Jonathan Groff plays Melchior on Broadway's Spring Awakening which I've talked about almost daily at this point, if not more (and I won't stop until it starts selling out). There's also a new video clip of Groff doing a little Behind The Scenes of Spring Awakening!!!

(Photo directly above from Broadwayworld.com)

Check Here For More On Jonathan Groff and Spring Awakening

More After the Jump...

iPod Playlist - The Insulin Edition

I heard about Anthony Callea a few weeks back when he came out, so of course I went to check out some of the Australian Idol's songs and now his whole catalogue is on high rotation on my iPod (when it isn't playing Spring Awakening of course). It essentially continues the traditions of Take That, Westlife, Boyzone, Ronan Keating, Bryan McFadden, Rob Mills, Brian Litrell, Backstreet Boys etc. etc. in good clean pop that is so sweet and sugary it'll give you a diabeteic seizure. LOVE IT!

Here's his version of "The Prayer".




"Addicted To You"




"Live For Love"




"Hurts So Bad"




"Rain"



(Okay fine. Maybe I should be dieting.)

More After the Jump...

30 Rock - The Fat Bitch Is Back

Corporate Crush

Is it me or has Tina Fey really come into her own? I mean, I never actually thought she was that bad an actor, but now, man, she totally shines on 30 Rock. She even looks spiffier than herself in the opening credits.

Seriously, all the former "weaknesses" of the show are now some of the best parts (Tracy Jordan, Tina Fey's "acting", The Writers Room), while the former best parts are still the best parts (Kenneth the page, Alec Baldwin's Jack).

Jack wants to meet Liz Lemon's new paramour and she's afraid of his judgement, but instead, Jack and Floyd fall into a mancrush on each other which scares Liz even more. Tracy Jordan continues trying to get Thomas Jefferson the movie made, with him starring as everyone, and makes a demo reel to present to the studio but they want him to do the sequel to his earlier hit, Fat Bitch. Fatch Bitch 2: The Bitch Is Back.


I'm loving Floyd by the way, and what it's done to Liz Lemon.

More After the Jump...

Notes on Notes From The Underbelly - Pilot

Pilot

So this show isn't really geared towards my demographic. I will never have a baby in me and I will never make someone have my baby though I I'll get one one day (I'm not like STEALING one, I meant I'm just waiting for one all ready and out, maybe I'll even skip the diaper changing phase).

I saw the first half hour pilot of Notes From The Underbelly last summer and thought it was funnier than I expected. I wasn't sure, and still not sure, where this show can go from here, since they cover about all the clichés about pregnancy already in the first 3 episodes (based on what I've already seen from next weeks preview), but while it ain't Must See TV, it could make decent diversionary TV while I'm folding laundry or something (if I actually folded my laundry, yes, I'm technically an adult but I still live like a teenager).


Best thing about the show is the blonde (above right) Rachael Harris, who plays the main pregnants friend Cooper who has no interests in babies or anything typical about the suburban lifestyle. She eats up the character and spits everyone else out.

I think I still liked The Singles Table better but probably because that show is really about my life down to the single Asian who lives at sitting at wedding receptions (this weekend? its number 3 of 14 this year, maybe 15). Though at this point, we may never see The Singles Table, at least on NBC.

Still, I surprisingly remembered a lot from Notes From The Underbelly from last summer, including the hilarious scene in the bar when Lauren, who just found out she's pregnant, tries to hide it from Cooper.

Also loved the veiled allusion to In N Out Burgers are their Animal Style (Wild Style on the show) secret ordering techniques. Oh man, now I want one again. Maybe I'm preggers...

More After the Jump...

The Others Lost in The Office

Lost - One of Us
The Office - Safety Training

Damn, Juliet. DAMN. I mean, we all knew it was kinda coming and yet we hoped maybe she did good and was good and not an Other. Damn. I love that they continue to slip in previous scenes and show more or show other sides to the story and do it so seemlessly. I wonder if they plan ahead and shoot it altogether, though logistics of a typical shoot probably says not and they do it the hard way.

Jack, Kate, Sayid return to the beach with Juliet. No one except Jack trusts Juliet. We flashback to Juliet and a more detailed journey of her arrival on the island with that secretive company. She gets to the island and stays 3 years instead of 6 months. She thinks her sister died of cancer even though Ben promised she would be cured. In the end, Juliet sees a live feed of her sister with her child. We re-see the book club and the crash from The Others point of view. We later hear Ben and Juliet conspiring to plan the gas attack and get herself invited to the beach...

BOOM: LOST

On The Office, Andy returns as Drew and no one really likes/trusts him. There's a trampoline and bouncy castle for some reason after Michael tries to pretend to be depressed to show the staff the dangers in an office space but whatever, it was HILARIOUS whatever the reason to get to that point. Michael pretends to jump from the roof, and though the mountainous LA in the background really throws off the flat Ohio as the setting, Dwight tries to round up the troups for this safety announcement.

Meanwhile, the others in the office start betting on all sort of things, though my favorite was still the number of times Kelly would say certain words. Too FUNNY.

More After the Jump...

Friday Night Lights - I Want More Taylors Please

State

That had better not have been the last new episode we get of Friday Night Lights, because as great of a season wrap up that was last night, I WANT MORE.

The Dillon Panthers go to Dallas for the finals but find out about Eric Taylor's new job in Austin, and all energy deflates.

Watery Eyes Moment #1: When Matt Saracen gets up and looks like he's about to applaud Coach Taylor's decision but instead, walks out the door.

They start the game losing, until Eric's rousing Clear Minds, Full Hearts speech (seriously, would have been cheesy if anybody but Kyle Chandler had said it and it wasn't overly done like some anthem or ending to a movie speech).

The big carpool with Tyra and Landry but ended with including Tyra's mom and sister, Saracen's grandmother and Lyla was hilarious, and it was good to see Tyra and Lyla fight it out finally and resolve some of those issues, though not fully, which is great.

Tami gets help from Corrina at a clinic and finds out that she's pregnant. Tami fears telling Eric, but Eric has a defused joy before he declares his love for Tami.

That was defintely Watery Eyes Moment #2.

The Panthers win of course but there are still mixed feelings after winning, knowing Eric and the Taylors are leaving. Due to the baby, Eric reconsiders things and lets Tami know that they will stay in Dillon, until Tami rebuts him and the killing of his dream. In another beautiful scene between the two (seriously, this is what the Emmy's were originally MADE for) they argue against which dream is the real one they are pursuing which is part hilarious and part tragic drama.

The series wraps up as much as they can, considering we still have no definitive answer of a new season yet (and 6 script orders does not count yet. I want COMMITMENT honey. NBC. I'm talking to YOU) but for a show about the daily going ons in the town of Dillon, they sure left us in a tiny bit of a cliffhanger. Not that I wasn't satisfied from the episode, but THAT'S IT?

Coach Eric Taylor walks into team room and... ???

I WANT MORE.

More After the Jump...