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Friday, January 30, 2009

Sucker Punched - Taken - Movie Review

I was all ready to write "Don't Be "Taken"" but in the end, I think I was taken for a ride. Taken is kinda like SPAM, it's processed, full of crap and squeezed into a shiny tin shell, but there's a comfort to it, even if you're going to be sick after.

The movie takes every republican fears of European cliches and throws them into some fear mongering thriller and gets Liam Neeson all vigilante-like cause vengeance is a bitch. Neeson is conveniently a former spy who goes after the greasy Eastern Europeans who have taken his sweet little estranged daughter (Maggie Grace, Lost) who has been living with her mom (a wasted Famke Jansen) and her conveniently filthy rich step-father (a wasted Xander Berkeley, 24), who happen to actually have nothing to do with the kidnapping. (Oh, did I spoil that for you? Trust me. I didn't.)

You kind of want to kidnap the excellent cast (Neeson, Grace, Jansen, Berkeley) from the horrible writing (co-written by Luc Besson) but they make do with the little they're given in a plot that's manipulating and sloppily constructed.

And yet, it was all mildly entertaining in that "Vengeance is Awesome" way. I felt like cheering for Bush again after watching the movie. Boy, was I taken.

Taken = C or 6/10


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