The Amazing Race 9 - Here We Go, Baby, Off to Win a Million Dollars

Thank goodness, Phil Keoghan, you're back and you left the kids at home (even though I still maintain that Rolly was cool despite having insane relatives)! We're back to teams of 2 and we are back to travelling the world again! Bring IT!

We start and leave Red Rock (Colorado, man. I would LOVE to see a concert there) and right off the bat, we are heading to the airport to get to Brazil! WOO!!! (THANK GOD WE ARE BACK TO ORIGINAL AMAZING RACE!).
First impressions? Did the "We like Boys" Girls already complain about being tired before even reaching the PARKING LOT AT RED ROCK? Oh boy, they are going to be fun. Are we going to hate Eric and Jeremy already, despite/because of their abs? Is one of the hippies Kate Hudson's husband from The Black Crowes? Of course the Glamazons and the Gay "Friends" hit it off right off the bat. Must say, Scarlett Southern Belle and her In-Charge husband (she's his wife AND his dental assistant?) thought they were clever by reserving over the phone... only to realise that it says right on the clue, that THEY MAY NOT RESERVE SEATS BY PHONE. Oops. Not sure how I feel since I thought I would hate them but I actually don't so much yet. Man. Mandisa is just AWESOME and kicks all the other girl's little be-hinds... oops. wrong show. Sorry. Commercial break...

Back at te Denver Airport, Abs team seems to take charge with a few followers behind, but had chosen to ask the wrong airline, and miss the first flight but make it onto the second. Hippie and Old Couple takes the last seats on the first flight, right after Double D (how'd they get there so fast?), while Ken and crying Barbie don't. Glamazon book their flights, and THEN ask for the arrival times. I guess bleach does affect the brain. Salsa Girls, Nerd Herd and Gay "Friends" get onto the second flight along with Abs. , and everyone else rushes to the last flight. "Lake like the Ocean, Ray like the sun" All follow along in the last flight, along with Ken and Barbie and somebody else but I've already forgotten.

"I thought Spanish was the universal language of the world". Seriously. People. Stay away from Bleach.

Sao Paolo, Brazil:
Unique Hotel is the first pit stop. Having studied architeture, I feel I should know this building. Guess I'm watching too much TV huh? Then off to a bridge with a complicated name. Salsa Mother and Daughter make it first.

Detour: Motor Head or Rotor Head. Build a motorbike or Fly by helicopter to find a building that holds the next clue? Did the Old couple just walk RIGHT by the cluebox on the bridge? I'm still trying to figure out how hard building a motorbike might be? Fly my pretties. FLY.

Meanwhile, Bleach bums are last, with Yolanda and Ray just ahead, but I like Yolanda already so hopefully they won't be last. Did the old couple just walk Right by the cluebox AGAIN AGAIN?

Does Abs team look like leftovers from LFO?

Somehow Nerd Herd pass Salsa , Abs and Hippies to the Helicopter, but Hippies figure out which building to fly to first, but Abs shows it to the dispatcher first. Confused? Salsa somehow lost first place, despite speaking the language. Is it me or is the daughter narating everything they are doing? Is she auditioning for an HGTV or a FoodNetwork show?

Double D's decide to put the motorcycle together and the stranger- man they put their hopes on to help them, leaves. HA!

Is old Couple STILL looking for the clue on the bridge?

Someone just called Rhett "Lake like the Ocean", "Scott Peterson". Oh SNAP...

Gay "friends" are still looking for the bridge, and get out of the lost cab they are in to ask around. HOW MUCH STUFF DID THEY BRING? Not only are they carrying backpacks, they are holding LARGE shopping bags in their ARMS. Not holding onto the bags in their hands. The bags are held in their ARMS. The bags are THAT FULL. I love how this show enforces stereotypes... (Seriously? She's his DENTAL assistant TOO?).

Bleach bums are having their revelatory moment when they realise the world doesnt live as rich as they do. Right before they note that "those people" wouldn't fit into their culture either. God love the crass suburbanites.

Damnit, Abs find the building first, followed by the Hippies having their "James Bond" moment flying off in the helicopter. Meanwhile, the cute Nerds look like this is the first time they've left their house since the Atari came into being.

How cute is that daughter? Ken and Barbie have the bad luck of a bad taxi driver. I don't even know at what point in the race they are in.

Old Couple join Double D making the motorbikes. Double D finally figure it out. Yolanda and Ray join them, and she get's some special attention from the male voyeurs.

Old Couple decides to change to RotorHead because the motorcycle building is harder than they thought. Duh. They meet up with Bleach Bums after passing Ken and Barbie on the way there. Bleach are yelling WAY too loudly when they identify the correct building on the map/book. Gay "Friends" are there as well and still looking, and fall behind Old and Bleach. Let the gay bitchiness begin, as time clicks away. Fear-of-flying boy gets into the helicopter while Abs and Hippie run through the streets of Sao Paolo to find a party where they are given a clue to go to the Esatdio Soccer Stadium for the final pit stop. Do you think those dancers in the party dance the whole time waiting for all the teams to arrive? Or only when the cameras are around?

Oh god. Yolanda and SunRay are still building the motorbike. Oh Jesus, Bleach just prayed for Jesus to help them out. Like the dude has time for you ladies... he's over on Fox helping out all the wannabe pop stars.

Isn't that "Joey Caruso" texting with Catherine Zeta-Jones?

Back to the race, PHIL!... ooooh.. booo... ABS makes it to the mat First and win 10k EACH. WHAT? LAZY ASSES WIN 20k? Damnit. Iv'e been doing it all wrong. See you all at the beach.

Hippies make it second, Mother Daughter Salsa girls make it third, Nerds fourth.

Double D are stuck in traffic, The Olds make it to the party, Phil again! WE can never have enough of Phil! Rhett and Scarlett make it fifth , Ken and Barbie sixth, SunRay and Yolanda seventh, The Olds eighth, Doubel D ninth.

And finally Bleach in tenth leaving the Gay "friends" Last. And the first team eliminated in the race. Too bad, Scott seemed nice though did he say much in this show? It was mostly John dealing with his fears. Oh well, Guess Team Cha Cha Cha will continue their reign as the best gay team on The Amazing Race (Sorry Reichen).