Tuesday, March 31, 2009

American Idol - iSmellConspiracy

American Idol - Top 9 - Performance Night - Theme: Popular Downloads From iTunes

So I didn't even bother to blog about the results last week so here I am doing it now. So long Michael Sarver. It was nice knowing ya. Okay, Top 9!!!

Sadly with Scott still there.

So, popular downloads from iTunes, eh!? What a plug for synergy while basically saying, they can sing ANYTHING. Possibly something even current! What what? American Idol is allowing their singers to be current? You know? As current as Ruben Studdard who sang on Thursdays results show? Oh yeah! (And yes, I was mocking Ruben there)

So we finally get Scott singing something nice and current! Like Billy Joel! For you Gen Y's/Z's/Apathy/whatever you want to call yourselves, it's not Billy Joe Armstrong (who is still probably beyond your base). Billy Joel was once married to Christie Brinkley... um...a supermodel from before Tyra Banks. Um... he wrote "Piano Man" and his music was used for the Broadway show Movin' Out. [crickets]. He was big once okay? And your mom probably threw panties at him. Well, maybe not, but he was big.

Anyways, everyone else sings more current songs except Kris Allen who sings an even older song. Thankfully he's NOTHING like Scott.

Anoop Desai
21 years old
Home: Chapel Hill, NC
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "Caught Up" - (by Ryan Toby, Andre Harris, Vidal Davis, Jason Boyd, made famous by Usher)

Grade: C-

I really do like the guy but I also can't really take him seriously, especially with all that sneering and posturing and those eyes that keep piercing out "look at me, I'm sexy damnit" and you-will-forget-about-Sanjaya, which it almost does. Randy thought it was "vocally cool" but not the right song for him which I totally agree.

Megan Joy Corkrey
22 years old
Home: Sandy, UT
Audition: Salt Lake City, UT
Song: "Turn Your Lights Down Low" (by Bob Marley)

Grade: C-

I'm also starting to "get" the whole Megan sound, but I don't think she just has the voice to pull off what she's trying to pull. It's quirky and has a neat sound, it's just too bad Megan can't actually sing it like she's supposed to. Plus she looked half freaked out and uncomfortable singing it.

Danny Gokey
28 years old
Home: Milwaukee, WI
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "What Hurts The Most" (by Jeffrey Steele, Steve Robson, made famous by Rascal Flatts)

Grade: B-

ACK. That hurt the most. This is one of my FAVORITE CHEESY SONGS. I sing this at the top of my lungs whenever I hear it in the car (yes, that was me). I love the overdramatics of it all and considering Danny Overdramatic Gokey decided to do this, it should have been a slam dunk, but it sounded raspy and strained to me (even though everyone in the audience and judges loved it). Sorry, but it should have sounded like THIS. Or even Cascada's version like this. Seriously, I sing it better than Gokey. (And I'll prove it this weekend at Karaoke in Boulder, Colorado, see you all there!). The judges fawning over this proves once and again that they have this season half pre-planned.

Allison Iraheta
16 years old
Home: Los Angeles, CA
Audition: San Francisco, CA
Song: "Don't Speak" (by Gwen Stefani, Eric Stefani, made famous by No Doubt)

Grade: B+

Considering the song is SOOO distinctive (and one of my favorites), I thought this might be difficult to overcome, but Allison did a really nice job making this song her own, and if it weren't for some vocal straining on the change-up and that the second half seemed a little tired, this would have been aces. Meanwhile, the judges spent the whole time criticizing her outfit. Yawn. Is anyone else getting tired of the judges "witty" banter? And I continue to smell conspiracy with Simon's comment that she shouted the whole thing. And yet has he ever said that to Danny? or Adam? Something's not right here.

Scott MacIntyre
23 years old
Home: Scottsdale, AZ
Audition: Phoenix, AZ
Song: "Just The Way You Are" (by Billy Joel)

Grade: D

And this was different from every other week how? OMG, I just looked up at the TV. What did he do to his hair? I didn't think it could be worse? And I'm speaking as someone who knows I've had some hideous haircuts before. Okay, we've all to try to stay as PC and nice as long as we possibly could but seriously, I cannot look at him anymore, and they really need to put sunglasses on the guy, and then someone else with actual full sight to do a makeover. And then someone needs to put some duct tape over his mouth. The judges were nice to him. Maybe the reverse psychology might work? He's been saved everytime they criticized him so maybe we might finally get the nail in the coffin? Randy even says it's one of the best of the night. Something is seriously not right here.

Matt Giraud
23 years old
Home: Kalamazoo, MI
Audition: Louisville, KY
Song: "You Found Me" (by The Fray)

Grade: B-

Was I shocked Matt was in the bottom 3 last week? Not really. I don't think he's ever quite connected with the audience out there. And his voice is good, but not stellar. And he sort of lacks star presence.

So why would he perform in the middle of the audience. It took me a good 20 seconds before I realized where he even was. I didn't think it was his best performance and his voice isn't actually good as his fans say he is. On the other hand, the judges seemed to really dislike it and it wasn't THAT bad either. Yet again, it all smells fishy. Kara says he has to commit between R&B and pop rock. EXCUSE ME?

Lil Rounds
23 years old
Home: Memphis, TN
Audition: Kansas City, MO
Song: "I Surrender" (made famous by Celine Dion)

Grade: C+

Oh brother. Girl needs to realize her voice is NOT that strong and she needs to stop trying to be a big singer diva (so STOP singing Whitney, Celine etc. etc). She could belt it out, but too bad none of it was on the right note, and yet Randy and Kara basically loved her singing (even though it was STILL the wrong song choice). Except Paula. Paula actually sidelined without a compliment. Well, Simon didn't really like it either but at least he didn't sugar coat it. I smell half a conspiracy.

COMMERCIAL BREAK PAUSE: Um, I just saw the commercial for the Hannah Montana The Movie and between the minor glimpses of Vanessa Williams and Margo Martindale, I kinda want to see it now. (WTF is wrong with me?). Yes, I've seen the hokey show (though I do admit, Hannah's brother, played by overacting Jason Earles, makes me laugh) and it's just not as good as the far superior The Wizards of Waverly Place (which is apparently getting it's own movie!). And yes, I'm coming out of the Wizard closet. I LOVE that show. I'm actually planning a post for it soon. Can't you WAIT? I know you're excited!

Adam Lambert
26 years old
Home: Los Angeles, CA
Audition: San Francisco, CA
Song: "Play That Funky Music" (by Robert Parissi, made famous by Wild Cherry)

Grade: B-

I love that half the audience was dancing and really into it and then the other half (including the front row) sat there looking in horror. Which is pretty much what Adam does, dividing it to love-it or get-him-off-the-stage divisions. I swing both ways (on this issue, not in real life).

It was bold and cheeky and he totally knows how to play the audience (with a great shout out to the band) and I can SEE RIGHT THROUGH THE WHOLE ACT. The screeching wasn't enough to cover up the "performance" but sadly, for someone so determined to get off the theatrical stage and become a singing star, I think we've finally found a perfect replacement to take over in We Will Rock You.

Kris Allen
23 years old
Home: Conway, AR
Audition: Louisville, KY
Song: "Ain't No Sunshine" (by Bill Withers)

Grade: A

Kris is the only performer who consistently makes me look up at the TV. And not just cause he's so pretty (and yes, gosh darnit, he's so pretty). The moment I hear his voice and his clever arrangements, I have to just stop and watch. Do you know how many times I've gone back to listen to last week?

Okay, not the most current song this week, but as Paula said, it's a 30 year old song and he made it sound like NOW! Which is probably even MORE impressive. YES, finally the judges are fully on board. Though it almost looked like Simon didn't want to say it, cause it would go against their plan of an Adam-Danny finale.

The Final Round Up:

Best of the Night: By far and away Kris Allen
Second Best of the Night: Allison Irahetta
Third Best of the Night: Adam Lambert
Fourth Best of the Night: Danny Gokey

Seriously, at this point, I just keep the names Kris and Allison in the top spots and interchange them occasionally.

Worst of the Night: Scott MacIntyre
Second Worst of the Night: Megan Joy Corkrey

Bottom Three Predictions: Matt Giraud, Megan Joy Corkrey, Lil Rounds

Going Home: Lil Rounds (maybe by not mentioning he-who-shall-not-be-named, it'll curse him to actually leave and not who I predicted)

For more on American Idol:
Click here for the most recent posts.
Season 8:
Top 2 Performance
Top 3 Performance, Top 3 Results
Top 4 Performance, Top 4 Results
Top 5 Performance, Top 5 Results
Top 6 + Matt (Top 7 Redux) Performance, Top 7 Redux Results
Top 7 Performance, Top 7 Results
Top 8 Performance, Top 8 Results
Top 9 Performance
Top 10 Performance
Top 12 Performance, Top 12 Results
Top 13 Performance, Top 13 Results
Top 36:
Group 1, Group 2, Group 3
Wild Card, Wild Card Results
Pre-Top 36:
Who Are You Going To Vote For?
Handicapping the Alleged American Idols

Vance at http://tapeworthy.blogspot.com


RJ said...

I THOUGHT Lil was going . . . until she cried. And Ryan showed her kids.

Don't think it's likely now.

I think it'll be Anoop. Can't remember what he sang at all, and he was first.

Vance said...

I ALMOST put Anoop but I think he still has enough of a fanbase to keep him safe. I think. Who knows. At this point, we know the real race is down between our faves Allison and Kris and the shows faves Danny and Adam. Everyone else may as well drop out now.

RJ said...

I got through on the Allison line WAY too many times for my liking . . .I would not be shocked to see her go bottom 3, but I can't imagine her going since I can still remember that she was actually there (*cough*Anoop*cough*).

Kris . . . finally he is CLEARLY the best of the night. And how in god's name did Adam pull that shit off? I thought it was going to be a disaster.

Vance said...

Okay, good that you're calling. Sucks that I can't call from up here. You'll have to do my bidding for me!

While Anoop was forgettable, I'm still wondering, who the FRICK is voting for Scott?

RJ said...

You HAVE to admit . . . Scott wasn't as bad as he has been. Not that I'd be sad to see him go.

Like I said in the recap on my blog, he was better, but I still didn't care.

Dame James said...

Allison leaving the show before Blind Guy and Dead Wife Guy would be a travesty of epic proportions. She's one of the reasons I haven't taken a baseball bat to my TV this season.