Wednesday, October 08, 2008

My Crass Movie Reviews Catch Up

Because I can be crass and totally shallow, I'm going to do a quick movie review catch-up using the game Shag, Marry or Kill (a nicer British version of the game (as I heard on Gavin & Stacey) that usually uses a more direct four letter word)

So from best to worst:

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Grade: A-

Shag: Javier Bardem. Totally sexy and a complete 180 from the scary bob in No Country For Old Men)
Marry: Penelope Cruz. Always amazing when she's back doing roles in her native Spanish language)
Kill: Scarlett Johannson. And mainly because she went off and married Ryan Reynolds so bitch has got to die for taking my man. (Usually I love Scarlett though)

Sex and the City
Grade: B

Shag: Harry. I don't know why but there's something about him. Hey, if Charlotte thinks so, so do I.
Marry: Steve
Kill: Jerrod

Grade: B

Shag: Kevin Spacey. Always had a thing for him.
Marry: Jim Sturgess
Kill: Kate Bosworth. Sorry, just cause she's the girl here.

Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day
Grade: B

Shag: Amy Adams
Marry: Lee Pace
Kill: Sorry Francis McDormand but when you're against Amy Adams and Lee Pace, I have no choice.

American Teen
Grade: B

Shag: Mitch. Just look at him.
Marry: Mitch. Just look at him.
Kill: Jake. I know. We are supposed to love him for being the geek but I didn't really connect.

Tropic Thunder
Grade: B-

Shag: Robert Downey Jr. I'd marry him but there's the whole potential drug problem/issues.
Marry: Jack Black. Well, I figure he'd make me laugh at least.
Kill: Ben Stiller. Still can't stand the guy.

Grade: B-

Shag: George Clooeny
Marry: John Krasinski
Kill: Renee Zellweger. Sorry. I do like her but in this case, she's the girl so she's out.

What Happens in Vegas
Grade: C+ (far better than I thought it would be though. Mildly entertaining)

Shag: Rob Corddry
Marry: Cameron Diaz
Kill: Ashton Kutcher. Strangely, I respect him as a producer but I don't get the sex appeal.

Speed Racer
Grade: C+

Shag: Emile Hirsch
Marry: Matthew Fox
Kill: Christina Ricci

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Grade: C+

Shag: Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian
Marry: William Moseley as Peter
Kill: Ben Barnes' bad Spanish-like accent

Step Brothers
Grade: C+

Shag: Adam Scott
Marry: John C. Reilly
Kill: Will Farrell

The Stone Angel
Grade: C

Shag: Kevin Zegers
Marry: Ellen Page
Kill: Cole Hauser and mainly cause he's not the Canadian in the list. Still, points for doing a Canadian movie.


Esther said...

Hey, stay away from Kevin. You know he's mine! ;-)

Joseph Gomez said...

I'm totally with you on the whole mystery about Ashton. Just don't get it.