Big Brother Trifecta - America's Dick

Welcome to the final post from the Big Brother Trifecta as we finally put a close to Season 8 of Big Brother. A season that started so promisingly (2 gays, 1 Nick, America's Player), and ended in complete dread (2 Donato's, 1 dick, America's Player), but at least I had fun posting with ModFab and QTA, so thanks guys for a fun season even though it was more fun on the blog than on the screen!

It's lonely at the top isn't it?
So I've come one last time to pose the big questions for Big Brother 8:
So who won? Do we even care? Is this over yet? Now that this debacle is over, are any of you going to listen to me and watch Pushing Daisies and Chuck (in addition to Friday Night Lights which you should have been watching all along?)? (hint hint hint! I have no shame in telling you what to watch and shameless promoting!)

So first up, the Jury House debate! I love this part. Bitter bitter people forced to decide who to give money to people they hate, especially Dick. In fact, they all would have rather give it to Zach than the Donato's, but in comes Zach and they realise the worst is going to happen.

Then, America tells Eric to campaign FOR... DICK. (I'm biting my tongue here now. Seriously, America, you have a problem, and I'm not even going to go there...). Jen debates against Dick and sounds somewhat intelligible while Amber rants against Jen's hypocrisy... wait. WHAT? Amber? Pot? Kettle? What? Then she asks about Daniele's personal life? Daniele's response chastising Amber for bringing in something that was not part of the game was spot on.

Wow. Point for Daniele.

There's more bitter eye rolling throughout the questioning, and Dick is not even trying to suck up to the Jury House as he slyly campaigns for himself. Though really, does it really matter at this point? When the whole thing is over, Daniele gets angry at Dick on last time for his responses. Overall, Jen actually comes up with the most thoughtful questions, Eric, the most self-fulfilling, and Amber, the most idiotic.

The jury is now live with Chenbot and the vote begins. More bitter statements, with everyone voting based on best strategy, except Jessica who comes with the best statement, saying she's voting based on who she got along best with. Finally. The truth! On a side note, all the girls are layered in glitter. Maybe it's the makeup department at Big Brother and not just the Chenbot herself who slathers it on. Have we been wrong about the Chenbot all along? Or did she force everyone else to go under the same glitter shower?

Dick's mom (Daniele's grandmother) is in the house! And in what is supposed to be an AWWWW moment, all I'm thinking is, how good a mother can she be? Look at the two people she raised. What a disgrace.

The losers are back, the houseguests who didn't make it to jury and thank god Nick has normal hair again and looks great! Joe makes some sort of backhanded compliment to Dustin who tries to hold up his composure but obviously is irked. It's kinda hilarious and cute (Dustin, not Joe).

The America's Player twist is revealed after a season long build up (if you can call it that). Eric is discovered, with a replay of all America forced him to do, and it's of course all lame and sweet and hilarious watching Jessica and everyone else react, but it justs reminds us... WHAT THE HELL WAS AMERICA THINKING? Seriously, did Vincent Donato somehow hack into the voting system and vote for his father? How else to explain America's love for Dick? (Wait. Let me rephrase that...)

In the end, Daniele's the winner. Well, Dick got the most votes (Eric's America, Zach, Dustin, Amber and Jessica) and wins the grand prize, but Daniele win's a fresh looking Nick, $50k, and as long as Dick doesn't squander the prize money on cigarettes, a great big inheritance. Like I said, the big winner.